Born From Insomnia. Late Night Watch Thoughts.
We cannot stop time. We cannot control it. Ages ago, someone noticed the days had a pattern and the idea of time started to form. Then, another person figured out a way of measuring time. Then, yet another person refined that idea. This continued until we securely locked ourselves into a tight, unbreakable box. Now, almost all facets of our life experiences are governed by time. How many hours do I have to get everything done? How much longer until I get to leave work? Will I be able to spend time with my friends and family or will I have to choose between the two? I recently encountered an even greater question….How many times is the human heart supposed to beat in the measurement of one minute.
It’s 1032 hours on a soon to be forgotten Tuesday. I have reports piling up, useless meetings to interrupt my progress, and several “call-back” phone calls to be made. I cannot stop time. I cannot control it. I cannot stretch it out and give myself more opportunity to get more done.
We get stressed. As much as most won’t admit, we become fearful of the time box, ever constantly ticking away. The anxiety of time and how it hangs over our lives, ever present, is something I know I will never be able to completely escape. But I am learning to reduce it. To keep the monster at bay.
I look down at my wrist. There I find breath to my suffocation. It’s not much, but it is. The beautiful, tick. That orderly movement. The sharp angles. The beautiful design that an entire team of artists worked on for years. It’s a Tag Heuer. It’s a Carrera 02 chronograph. It’s the way the design displays layers. The markers, the hands, the sub-dials, the bezel that just looks like you could knock someone over the head with it’s mass. A beautiful landscape with peaks and valleys. The forest-green dial only adds to the terrain. The badge. That damn, gorgeous badge. It sits just below noon, sits with authority, “Tag Heuer”.
The sharp edges of the case give it an almost predatorial element. The crown and the flanking chronograph plungers look like they belong in a steel mill, controlling deathly liquid metal. The recently swapped leather strap. Chef’s kiss. The strap’s brown, racing glove-like, quality makes this beast of a watch, tamable. The strap grounds and humbles this watch to my wrist. This watch is an animal. It’s alive. Breathing with the motion of the seconds sub-dial. And it’s mine. Getting lost in my love for this watch helps calm the nerves. I can reset. It’s 1034 hours. I know this because my Tag Heuer tells me so. I love this watch. Life is shitty sometimes. Bad things can pile up, old memories can return from their banished state.
Sometimes it’s nice to have something to look down at and reset. If only for a short while. Any little bit helps and I’ll take whatever I can get. I cannot stop time…..but I can stop for time. I can appreciate and respect the monster that is time. Reset completed, carry on, repeat as needed. If you haven’t already, find your reset.
We all have things we have seen or experienced or continue to, that make it hard to be in the moment.
Don’t get too far gone.
